Day 22. How Have You Changed In The Past Two Years?
I’ve changed a lot. I’ve almost gotten a degree from college, and I’m about to get out of this city in a few months. I feel like I’ve discovered myself. I know what I like, what interests and attracts me. I know what my goals for myself are, and where I’m going. About two years ago, I didn’t know what I was doing. I do now. I’m making my life better for myself, and know what I’m going to do. I’ve grown up, and in the past few months, I’ve realized that I need to start doing what’s best for me, not everyone else. I need to make myself happy first.
I really can't picture anyone having a crush on me. I can’t picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep, or telling their friends about me. I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I said hi to them, or even just smiled at them. I can’t picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phones when we’re talking.
I think its extremely important. Not just going to school, I think educating yourself about the world around you is even more important than what you read in books. Blindly following what others tell you shows ignorance. Learning and standing up for yourself is what education gives you.
School is important though. If I wasn’t going to college, I’d be working at a retail store/restaurant for the rest of my life. For some people, that’s okay, and they are happy there. But for me, I can’t just sit there and not impact others with my career choice. That’s why I want to be a teacher. I may not impact everyone, but that one kid that I make realize their potential and their love of reading/learning will make my entire college career worth all those years. I want the world to love learning and reading and everything like that as much as I do. I think our world would function so much better if everyone knew what the world really was, and knew the truth that is just out of reach.
Honestly, I think there is a line between when and when its not appropriate. For example, my father treated me, my mom and sister like shit for most of my life, and my mom’s marriage to him. I don’t think he deserves any respect from me. I don’t flat out disrespect him, but I honestly don’t give a fuck about what he thinks. I used to, and I used to try to please him all the time, but now I’m grown up, and I don’t care. My mom has and always be there for me, and that’s what matters. She deserves all the respect in the world for the shit she’s gone through, and how she’s still so positive about life. She’s a great mom, and I couldn’t have asked for any better.
I don’t think that parents automatically deserve respect from their children. I think they have to earn it, just like we do. If you are a good parent, and at least try to be a forgiving and understanding parent, then you deserve respect. If you treat your kid like complete shit and make them feel like less than a person, than no. You don’t get my respect.
When discussing the issue of faith, I’m moved to anger very easily. There’s a common misconception as to what the word “faith” actually means. I’m not bereft of faith, not at all. I have faith in the people I’ve come to call my friends. I have faith in the choices I take and the path I walk. I…