Lows: Well, Nick and I were in a really bad place, and I broke it off. We didn’t see each other for about a week and a half, and then I think that he realized what he has lost, and really turned his life around. He lost me, his apartment, and had to move in with his mom. He lost a lot, and I think it was the wake up call he needed.
Highs: Nick and I are back together, and things have never been this good. We talk, we compromise, we do things together, and everything is great. We just signed the lease on a house that we’ll live in together, and I couldn’t be happier. I think that taking a break, and realizing what we needed to do to make it work was really what we needed.
Well, we get the keys to our new house in about three weeks, and we’re going to start moving all our shit up July 1st. It’ll be in more than 30 days, but we’ll have a new house, in a new city and I’ll have a new job. I really REALLY want to finish both of my online classes so I can get my degree, and have the rest of the summer to write as much as I can. I really hope that Flagstaff with help me get back into writing. And photography.
When the week started, I wanted to pick up a shift tonight, as I work lunch, but now, I don’t think I will. I could use the money, but I’m so fucking tired. I have tomorrow off too, so, FUCK IT. Not picking up. I can make more money next week. I’ve made good money this week anyway. Made about $250 working so far this week, hopefully adding another $100 or so from today and Sunday night. I can do that.
youre like a hot bowl of grits, only way more gritty.
straight drippin in turquoise, my santa fe queen.
one short leg, you got the santa fe leeeaaaan.
Its music to my ears when you sceam in your sleep, and when you lift your skirt in public, yo, I can’t help but peek. Youre like Cleopatra, with the eyes of a pig. Love to watch you in the backyard when you go out to dig.
I really miss when life was super easy and I had no responsibilities. When I didn’t have a job, just had school, and could have fun with my friends. I’m moving out, and moving away to a new city two hours away with Nick, and I’m having to transfer my job to a place that I don’t know anyone. Even though my mom is helping with my half of rent, its still a lot of responsibility on me. I want it all, otherwise I would just not take it on. Life is just very complicated for me right now, and I miss when things were easy. I miss being a kid.
Well, I used to self-harm. I mostly have scars on my legs, but a few on my arms. Its an everyday struggle to not hurt myself everyday. I’ve slipped up a few times in the past two years, but for the most part, I’ve not hurt myself. It still a problem that I think I will always struggle with, but I’ve been a lot happier the past few years, and don’t have as much to cut about. I was on meds for a while and was seeing a therapist, but I didn’t really feel a difference with the meds, so I stopped, and my therapist didn’t think I needed therapy anymore. Its an everyday process, and I take it a day at a time.
I guess, just someone who will treat me nice. I try my hardest to be a good person, and to do as much as I can for the ones around me, and I really enjoy that in return. Someone who’s willing to sacrifice as much for me as I do for them. Someone who’s willing to be there for me when I’m an insecure mess, and will tell me they love me, and that everything will be okay, even if it won’t. I want someone who will be content and happy just sitting on the couch watching TV, or taking a nap together. Someone who appreciates me, and all that I do. I really like to think I put a lot of effort into my relationships, and I want that back, and that they acknowledge that I would do anything for them. Obviously, looks matter to a certain point, but I don’t think that I have good looks, so it would be unfair of me to expect someone drop dead gorgeous to be interested in me. I care more about someone’s actions than what they look like.
Someone who fascinates me. Hmm. There’s no one who really FASCINATES me, but there are people who make me think, “What the fuck are you doing?”.
One person in particular just makes think that almost any time I see anything about them. I just think they’ll really regret some choices they’ve made, and that they thinks super highly of themself, but won’t go anywhere. Ooooo, you’re moving away. Good for you. Good luck finding a job in this huge new city. You fucking won’t, unless you’re amazing at your job, and I don’t think you are.
So, they don’t really fascinate me, but just really make me shake my head in disbelief at where they’re going in life.
I found the most perfect place in Flagstaff. Two bedroom, two bath, with a storage unit and porch. And I can actually afford it! It has REAL hardwood floors, and brand new appliances. I’m so incredibly excited about this house. Now all I need to do is transfer my job, and I’m fucking golden. Everything if falling back into place again, and I can’t wait.
We’re driving down from NAU, and she said earlier that one of her headlights is out. We just got pulled over, and she pretended that she didn’t know. The cop let us off with a warning. my mother is an evil genius.
to spell correctly and use proper grammar and punctuation? Didn’t you go to Elementary school?
It drives me up a fucking wall. Especially when people write about how other’s punctuation and spelling bother them, and they SPELL SHIT WRONG. Shut the fuck up, you’re exactly the same as the person you’re criticizing.
Why can’t I fucking pass this stupid food handlers test. Its not even hard. I’m so mad. I’m so mad. I’m so mad. And now I can’t fucking go into work today because I wasn’t able to get my card. I’m so mad. I need that money.
I’ll help you study if you want. Do you know what questions you got wrong?