hazelshade: I hope Rick Santorum goes to drink the last sip of ice tea and all the ice falls on his face.
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
crackercolfer: breaking news a teenage girl was cured of her clinical depression after seeing a webcam picture of a person smiling and holding up a piece of paper more at 11
What happens when abortion is illegal:
markaragnos: People still get abortions. People start dying a lot.
farisbueller: felicefawn: The fact that the majority of teenagers would rather listen to Justin Bieber or Taylor Momsen over Jimi Hendrix or Pink Floyd makes me want to fucking kill myself. Literally. up next on MTV’s “White Girl Problems”: special snowflake and part-time tumblr user felicefawn is literally contemplating suicide over people having different music taste than her and thinks...
Had a glorious sex dream about Jared Padalecki.
It was AWESOME.
If it ain’t got your name on it in the fridge, don’t fuck it!
Once upon a time, in a city of dirt...: Work. →
heatherrrsucks: My job is terrible. I am thoroughly convinced that a team of down syndrome rabbits could run this restaraunt better than my so-called “managers.” If you schedule people for doubles, then they’re going to want a break in between their shifts. Don’t act like it’s a fucking surprise when its 3 and I… Yeah, at my new OG, if you work a “double” you work a straight...
When my mom makes me try a new food.. →
wowfunniestposts: Im like: Then It turns out to taste good so I’m like: this blog is epic